Saturday, February 7, 2009

Why do so many people here on Y/A seem so angry?

280>In the Government Section I have never seen so much hatred towards a sitting President and I have been around since Truman. In the R%26amp;S Section everyone seems to pick on anyone else%26#039;s religion. It is their faith or lack of faith that is the only correct way to believe. In the Military Section all I see is anti-government anti-warfare anti-military questions and answers. Basically I find that most of Y/A is about anti-this and anti-that. I think if I said that blue was a good color I would get 50 answers saying I was wrong.





Also, why do people want the advise of a total stranger rather then seek out their doctor on Cancer, Pregnancy, Mental Health, and other kinds of medical problems? Why do they ask if they should stop taking medicines that are prescribed or which medicine is the best to take for this or that?





I just try to give good honest answers to questions. To be informative and be nice. It seems to me that there is way too much hate and bigotry. So I am saying Goodbye.
Reply:To answer your additional details first, YA can be a burnout, and for all the good energy you can put out, the rewards can be nebulous and intangible at times. There is some wisdom to taking a break or reducing your input if you feel more dragged down than energised. The old Nietzsche saying %26quot;Stare too long into the Abyss and the Abyss in turn stares into you%26quot;. Frightening stuff.





I have followed your Q%26amp;A with interest, even though I don%26#039;t actively answer too many, and I do appreciate the thought and time which you put in. I know first hand how disappointing it can feel when you put a lot of effort into a question only to have the first few replies being flippant and dismissive or plain out rude. Or when you spend ages to give a good answer only for some equally flippant thoughtless one to be selected either by the person asking, or worse, by vote.





Yet we do not know who reads our questions and what lives they touch. Just occasionally people will tell us, in email or IM, and that does give a really nice boost.





Also, one needs to take a balance. You do have a very supportive network of people who regularly post to your questions and share insights. Perhaps retaining what you have gained from these forums by maintaining those contacts through other means is a good solution, and limiting your energies on here so you don%26#039;t feel too badly.





To your headline question, people often respond in anger because anger energises them to write. If they are indifferent to a question, they won%26#039;t answer it. If they support the ideas, they don%26#039;t like to be seen as dittoheads. And it is far far easier to condemn than it is to create. Many other great responses to why, so I wont comment further.





The main things, look after yourself, you do make a difference, and take what is positive from your experience here and value that.





All the best.
Reply:depends on the nature of any person........i don%26#039;t like to go the sections like religion and government.





good luck
Reply:Hey William, don%26#039;t say Goodbye. This place needs people who aren%26#039;t bigoted on here. Just don%26#039;t got to some of those boards that tend to have more than their fair share of hatred. I tend not to go onto R%26amp;S anymore becuase like you I agree that many on there aren%26#039;t there to try and learning anything but to push their own views even when they don%26#039;t know what they are talking about.





Stay and give the best help you can and ignore the ignorant, maybe they will learn from your example and in the future we have Y!A that is full of seekers of knowledge and not pushers of hatered.





Good luck
Reply:Most of those questions are very black and white. Most people who look at those questions have very strong beliefs. It%26#039;s the same as getting into a conversation/debate with them, the only difference is you jump straight into the debate part and skip the conversation.
Reply:lol, i think i understand what your saying but a lot of more of yahoo! answers is silly, funny and just plain wierd!! Don%26#039;t go just yet, give other sections a chance and if you still find it how you say it is then spread your good humoured nature onto the pages of angry people!





I personally prefer yahoo to professionals because the advice i get is a lot more real to life, even though its web based and a lot more personal instead of clinical and professional!





Btw green is the best colour .............. =) joke!
Reply:I think part of th reason people are so opinionated are three-fold:


1) Many people who are drawn to this place are often verbal and/or vocal individuals who like to voice their opinions.


2) The same individuals seek out fields that matter to them, and that they are passionate about, one way or the other.


3) Some people get their kicks from trying to get other people upset/angry/frustrated in said categories, whether is comes to sexuality,religion, politics, or other potentially volatile topics.





There also seems to be a small group of ignorant people who enjoy being unpleasant and inappropriate in question and answers alike because they apparently have no other way of contributing. This is the group of people that I find it hardest to respect. I say stick around, and take the bad with the good. Is something way out of line, let Yahoo know, and maybe consider being selective about which threads you contribute to/read. There are a lot of smart folks in here, too who have helped me with many things -- from computer/Ipod issues to language and politics.





Good luck!
Reply:We have a problem in the United Kingdom just now with the Prime Minister and the Govenment, I never go in those pages religion, politics or any other subject that will provoke anger or racisits. You can not please or agree with people all of the time. Users are always complaining of violation notices from these pages, it just my personal opinion, but I prefer to stay away from them.
Reply:I know what you mean, and I can only stand it for a while and then I go do something else for some time. It does show something about what human beings are capable of in a suitably anonymous society where comment can be made without consideration, I am surprised it is not more Jerry Springer.
Reply:William, I think people are like that because they can vent anonymously. It is quite easy to identify the boobs, either asking or answering a question. Also, I think this point thing encourages people to give short, stupid answers. I look at Yahoo Answers as a form of recreation. And sometimes it is quite informative and funny. Perhaps you should just avoid the sections that offend you. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts on the subject. Have a great day
Reply:I understand. There is a lot of hostility here, a lot of unfocused anger that gets directed at people for no good reason. It seems to me that people are looking for scapegoats and opponents- how this benefits them, I can%26#039;t imagine.





I come here because I%26#039;m curious; I want to be helpful in my own small way; and I want to ask questions. I have been really helped by some of the answers to some of my questions...in other%26#039;s I was subjected to a tirade or torrent of abuse; Sometimes the questions themselves are upsetting- then I have to struggle with myself to not respond in kind.





Anyway, I think you are a good, kind man, and I hope you will stay.





Edit: I don%26#039;t know why others ask medical/psychiatric questions here, but I do it because I need honest answers. My MedDoc and my PsyDoc seem to think I need protecting from the truth, and often won%26#039;t answer me.
Reply:yeah. i lost interest in Y/A for a while because of this. then i realized, there are others there who might seriously need my opinion; at the same time, still find many reasons to enjoy and learn a lot from others.
Reply:Hi Bill! I%26#039;m guessing those angry people on Y/A have a number personal issues that are pushing them to keep ranting on here. I mean, it could be that they are unable to do it offline because they%26#039;re too afraid to be judged, so what they do is they take all the anger out online where no one really knows their true identity. Displacement is most people%26#039;s favorite defense mechanism, I%26#039;ve noticed.
Reply:%26#039;cause people got issues
Reply:There are a few reasons.





1 -- Anonymity. People feel they can say whatever they want in cyberspace and it doesn%26#039;t matter. I liken it to a stray dog taking a grunt on somebody%26#039;s lawn and running away. The dog feels no guilt for what it did and won%26#039;t suffer correction.


These people feel like some kind of big deal hiding behind their keyboards and saying whatever comes to mind. It%26#039;s sad, really.





2 -- The folly of youth. There are ALOT of kids in here and they like to spout off. Usually because of their youth and inexperience they have no idea what they are spouting about. For example, they have no concept of whether or not war is right or wrong. They%26#039;ve never had to face it. All they know is their favorite celebrity said it%26#039;s wrong or they think it looks cool to be anti-establishment. They have no idea what they really believe about anything.





As for seeking medical advice here. Wow. I have no idea why people do that. I figure if I wouldn%26#039;t take medical advice from a stranger at the grocery store I%26#039;m not going to do it here. It amounts to the same thing.








Please don%26#039;t let the small mindedness of others chase you away. Without an example before them they will never learn otherwise. Continue to give your good honest answers and being nice. We can only hope that these qualities will rub off on others.
Reply:Dearest Bill, please don%26#039;t leave Y/A. Lately, I have been thinking the same thing: Why so much anger and, I would add, so much hatred? I don%26#039;t know the answer to that, but what I do know is that Y/A needs people like you and many others who may not be in the majority here but who represent a critical mass of Y/A users whose hearts are in the right place. That%26#039;s all it takes.





The world also seems to be getting angrier. That may explain all the toxic Q%26amp;A%26#039;s on Y/A. For me right now the answer is to cut back, to ask genuine questions, and respond only to questions that inspire me. I know I do not have the power to change anyone. I made the mistake twice lately of adding a couple of angry, trollish, wounded people to my network arrogantly thinking that they might be positively influenced by people like you, me, and many of the other goodhearted and intelligent people here. It%26#039;s the caretaker in me. I was wrong. This week alone I have been attacked by a few people who I removed from my network. It%26#039;s sad. I don%26#039;t even think they get how angry and toxic they are. It%26#039;s like they have some of kind of vendetta going on there. Who knows?





There is something in me that just wants to rescue or save people. Alas, I have discovered that there are people in this world who are addicted to their anger and their interpretations of the world, and that I am no one%26#039;s savior. Mea culpa. I am learning. I won%26#039;t be baited into anymore petty arguments or into trying to change anyone%26#039;s mind, but I will still be a presence here in Y/A, helping only where I feel led to help and asking only questions that authentically rise up from my center. I will answer (or ask) no more questions that are really just platforms for one-sided preaching, ideological or religious proselytizing, or hatemongering.





People come to Y/A seeking alternate opinions. I think this is a good thing, even if they are asking about problems in need of professional help. I think it gives them perspective. There may be a few misguided souls who think that Y/A can provide the help they need, but I think most of us know better.





On my end, I like getting a variety of opinions just to gain perspective and to know that there are others who are going through the same kinds of situations. That actually empowers me or encourages me to go to the doctor or to participate in support groups and meetup groups--minus the shame or sense of aloneness that may have been holding me back. What I do is take everthing in and, as Charlotte Kasl puts it, bring it all into my %26quot;holy middle%26quot; and prayerfully decide what I need to do or what I need. For me Y/A is the equivalent of brainstorming in the process of writing or preparing for a class or a show. First I generate or gather ideas. Then I get clear on where I stand. Then I decide what to choose and/or what to do. Ultimately, we all make our own choices, but I firmly believe we all are here to help and even teach one other, not just in Y/A but in the world. In my case, I am learning that even a wrong or misguided answer can be helpful, if only as a catalyst prodding me to seek other answers or help, or as an attempt that contains perhaps one precious ounce of the truth.





Would it matter if told you publicly right here, right now, that I would seriously mourn your loss if you were to leave, Bill? When I first came to Y/A I was heartbroken due to a weird string of disappointing relationships. I was whipsawed and confused, as they say, about love and ready to give up. Thanks to your wisdom and kindness, I have rediscovered my own wisdom and my own kindness--and hope--in matters of the heart. I took a break from all that relationship drama and got clear about what I want by reading your story about how you and Ronnie met. You helped me come to terms with the situation with my father and to put it all into perspective. You helped me to get more clear about issues of religious diversity. I was already on that page, but it helps to find a friend who is so affirming. Your stories and your answers inspire me so much that sometimes when I read your posts late at night I go to sleep easier trusting that as long as there are still people in the world like you all is well. Please reconsider. It would be so sad if we leave Y/A to the angry critics, haters, and trolls.





If you do decide to leave, know that you have my eternal thanks. Know that you have my support . Know that you have my heart. I will never forget you. God bless you.
Reply:I observed that, most of the aggressive or bigotry answers come from immature guys and those desperate guys that just want the Y /A points and nothing more.





What is more, most of them (Y/A) are kids and with immatured mind. Therefore, we should expect nothing more than what they are offering as Y/A. %26quot;Our reasoning faculty differs.





Frankly speaking, I must say that, I have benefited immensely from the useful contributions offered by some matured people with matured brain.





Based on that, I would say, your presence in Y/A community is highly appreciated, and I so much want you to be around to contribute your useful quota as usual. Have a nice day.
Reply:The world is made of many angry people! Most people do very well at hiding their anger, but when online we are able to vent out on topics that we disagree with without others judging us. I also hide my anger very well in public, and I find myself opening up online.
Reply:I%26#039;m sorry to say that I can be guilty of answering baiting questions. Some individuals find it amusing to stir others to anger, especially safely hidden behind a keyboard. I have tried to only answer questions that I can actually contribute to and ones where it seemed the asker actually was interested in my answer. The anger and hate here hurts my heart, too, but there are honest and earnest people on here like yourself and individuals who are really looking for new information. The best way the quell anger that I%26#039;ve found is to not contribute to it. I%26#039;ve enjoyed your questions and answers so far, but if Y/A is making you angry or upset also, there%26#039;s nothing wrong with taking a break until you want to come back.
Reply:Hi William, I understand perfectly all right how you feel, I have been trying to really say good-bye for so long. I even I feel I come back because I am a masochist, because where I participate the most is %26quot;Gender and Women%26#039;s Studies%26quot;, I arrived to learn and to share ...but the place is full of sexist remarks, trolls and harassment.


I have asked myself this same question so many times, why people are so angry? I suppose it is easier to express their anger because they are anonymous. What worries me, is when someone is honestly asking for help and that person just get attacked. I have seen it so many times, that I wonder how such aggressive answers could affect that person in real life, we never know :-(





Fortunately others are wonderful. For example I like my contacts and all of them have something great to offer.





As others said, people like YOU are needed in here. We don%26#039;t need all to agree, but we can be respectful.





Yes there is too much hate and bigotry :-(





Take a break, but I hope you come back :-)
Reply:Yessir, Bill, there sure is a good deal of factional intolerance here, but, by and large, that is true of the internet, as a whole. It is a %26#039;place%26#039; or construct of electronic blips... essentially a daydream of daydreams within daydreams. All the deep seated hates and insecurities that we would not air, in our physical worlds come out here.





And, of course, the population of folks who spew vitriol for it%26#039;s own sake, as that is the manifestation of their daydreams of empowered self-righteousness.





They don%26#039;t call it Yahoo for nothing! Think J. Swift. It sure fits, most of the time.





Any time you are experiencing anxiety and dissatisfaction of the flavor you are describing, it points to over-exposure. You have been spending too much time on it for even you to justify, as aspects you once enjoyed are now eclipsed by aspects you once ignored. Any idle hobby, interest, job, or relationship falls under this auspice, if you have been %26#039;abusing%26#039; it... meaning that you are spending more time and energy on it (the negative aspects, specifically) than you feel you should, and its poisoning your enjoyment of said pursuit.





In message board lingo, your post here is a %26#039;goodbye letter.%26#039; A sure sign that you have invested too much lately in this surreal, unreal environment, and need some kind of formal closure to say goodbye, much like an old friend who%26#039;s company you no longer enjoy.





Take some time to put the lessons you have learned and the things you have practiced (supportive-ness, kindness, human empathy) into action in your %26#039;real%26#039; life (and, no, I do not count the internet as %26#039;real%26#039; or material) and you will eventually seek a vehicle for exercising these things again. Maybe it will be yahoo. Maybe not.





Take it with a grain of salt. Lotsa luck.





Now go outside and play!
Reply:hi bill,


sorry to hear your taking time of- i hope it%26#039;s not because of negative feed back. I%26#039;ve been in both categories and to be honest sometimes it does seem like a sense of dislike, i really think the term %26quot;HATE%26quot; is extremely strong. However i like to believe it%26#039;s a healthy exchange of ideas.


Having said that, i turn my attention to politics I%26#039;m 64 and believe that it is my obligation as well as my right to participate in the voting process. I believe for those who don%26#039;t vote %26quot;don%26#039;t *****%26quot;. That leads us to the present administration-


I have never been so ashamed of any president as far as I can remember. He not only acted like a cowboy just waiting for a fight, but he lead us to believe that we would fight Ben-lar- den


(spelling sucks) he went straight for Saddam --


who everyone knows was not involved.


W.M.D%26#039;s my a----. He runs our country with a back room cliche mentality , and then wonders why his approval rating are so low. Of course that%26#039;s my opinion--see you soon Bill
Reply:some people are not happy unless they are making someone else%26#039;s lives miserable. there are some evil peoples out there. unfortunately we have to deal with them the best way we can without breaking the law (or at least not getting caught...joking) this limits us greatly. so please ignore the evil peoples. if you don%26#039;t it just gives them more power...and that%26#039;s not good. have a great day!
Reply:Here is my honest opinion...as to the Military and Government..I feel that many people have lost faith in our government due to being misinformed..or just plain too opinionated.. they just don%26#039;t have any place other than here to voice their hatred..maybe the people around them are tired of hearing them and they need another outlet..a whole new group to hear them out. (I too have noticed more hatred in this section)


As to Religion..that is something that has gone on since the beginning of time..and I tend to just ignore ignorant people who try and force their religion on others..to me you have a choice as to believe in God or not..to try and force someone else to believe is just plain wrong..to each their own is what I believe in!


As to the health of others..yes the person wanting help should go to the doctor..or already has and did not really understand or wants to better understand about their condition..or is scared to death and wants to know if others feel the same way..so it is natural to seek out others for information in order to know they are not alone in their fight...Sometimes there is no one else to turn to in their lives..so they do turn to complete strangers..who may later become their friend...I feel this way the only ignorant question is the one you did not ask, and if you must ask someone you don%26#039;t know then so be it...


I do know there are people on the computer that are predators..but there are more that want to become your cyber friend and will stay with you as long as you need them too...I have several friends that I met as complete strangers and now ten years later they are my best friends..


As to medications...once again it is natural to explore the ramifications of medication...sometimes the doctors don%26#039;t know it all and people know it..so they will talk to others and figure out for themselves what is good for them.


William I do enjoy your questions and answers..so please don%26#039;t say good by..please stay!!!!


Donna
Reply:i have the same opinion than you. i also got turn off about y/a. now i get on it just once in awhile so that i don`t accumulate any frustration from those people.

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