Dealing with Mother who refuses to get a mammagram?

287>Does anyone else have this problem. My mother, grand-mother, and aunt are anti-doctor and refuse to get a mammagram. My great grandmother had breast cancer. My mother is 52 and I really would like her to have this done and have asked her to do it just for my peace of mind but she refuses. Any one else had to deal with a similar situation?
Reply:Some people have the very childish mind-set that if they don%26#039;t go to the doctor, they won%26#039;t be sick. It%26#039;s like they are thinking, %26quot;What I don%26#039;t know can%26#039;t hurt me.%26quot; That is of course very wrong thinking. Breast cancer is very curable if found in its early stages, and that is when it is found by self breast exams and a mammogram.





My MIL refused to go to the doctor and hadn%26#039;t been to the gyno in like 15 years! I begged, wheedled, whined and cajoled her and she finally went. You wanna know what she said to me? %26quot;Well I went, and they didn%26#039;t find anything! Are you happy now?%26quot; I said, %26quot;What, would you have been happier if they told you that you were DYING?!%26quot; She stopped and I think that finally made a point with her how stupid she was asking.





I just wore her down basically but I did keep telling her that I loved her and wanted to make sure that she would be around for a long, long time!





Depending on what stage in life your great grandmother had breast cancer, if no one else in the family has breast cancer (not that they%26#039;d know since they won%26#039;t go to the doctor) her risk may not be any higher than the general population for breast cancer. If your great grandmother%26#039;s cancer was post menopause, then the female relatives%26#039; risk is the same as the general population. That said, 50% of breast cancers are diagnosed in women with NO family history, so everyone needs to go get their mammies grammed!!
Reply:A friend%26#039;s wife is having surgery to remove a tiny breast cancer today. Luckily it was in the early stage. I%26#039;m not a woman but GET CHECKED.
Reply:Perhaps she%26#039;s afraid since your great-grandmother had breast cancer. I think there%26#039;s a question of whether it could be genetic. Perhaps she has heard that they are painful. They are uncomfortable, but they don%26#039;t take that long. Your Mom is definitely of the age that she should definitely start getting them. Tell her you would like to have her around for a long, long time and by taking care of this test once a year will help make that possible.


Good luck.
Reply:No. Because it%26#039;s my mother%26#039;s body and I have respect for her decision. Don%26#039;t be so selfish and disrespectful to your mother.
Reply:You want your Mom to get her breasts checked for your peace


of mind? You are strange. Why not get yours checked out for


your peace of mind? Leave Mom, Grandma%26#039;s, and Aunt%26#039;s boobs alone.
Reply:It could be scary - she may be afraid to know any bad news, or she might simply be bashful.





I would suggest trying to find one of her close friends around her age, tell that friend that you would like your mother to get one, ask her friend if she would mind if you asked if she (the friend) had a mammogram and, if so, would she mind accompanying your mother?





And if your friend hasn%26#039;t had one, but is open to one, would she mind doing it as a %26quot;double-date%26quot; - they both go in to get tested. Your mother might be more comfortable doing it with a peer.
Reply:she and they are most likely scared...was the great grandmother your on your mom%26#039;s side of the family? If so, this adds to her fear...time to have a non-confrontational heart to heart.and share your concerns..about taking control of their fear and their health...then offer to go with them....scared the living hell out of me..my mom was a breast cancer survivor...and I have to really force myself to get these tests..actually went 3 years without one...the fear can be paralyzing at times...be kind...
Reply:Browbeating someone into going is not going to be productive anyway.





When asked what you want for Christmas, tell her that is all you want. I doubt it will happen. Ask again for your birthday, and the next Christmas. Don%26#039;t list any other options of what you want.





And the reader above is correct. It is her body, and her right to not have that done if she does not want. You have thoroughly bought into the dogma and dicta of the AMA, but she realizes that there is no law mandating this. I, for one, hope there never is.