Saturday, February 7, 2009

Depression and Pushing People Away?

281>Hi all,





I have suffered with depression since I had my son almost 14 years ago, I was in a violent relationship where I was mentaly and physically abused. The relationships after were just as weird. I%26#039;m also going through a bad time with my dad, he has lung cancer and there is no help for him... I am currently on anti depressants and waiting to see a counceller, but I need some advice on something, I have met a new guy, he is great, he is understand, supportive, and makes me very happy, but I have this issue with pushing him away and needing constant reassurance, which just gets us into the same repeatative routine and arguements... I%26#039;m also very irritable and defensive, does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can control the repeatative/insecurity and the pushing people away until I am able to go and see a councellor?
Reply:Since you are aware of what you%26#039;re doing, you can take steps to try a new way and not do those things anymore. It might even pull you a bit out of the depression.
Reply:The insecurity you suffer is a result of what you have gone through in the past. The best way to pro act to it is by beginning to believe in yourself. Try to think well of yourself. Make a list of your good qualities, your talents, try all you can to fall in love with yourself. Trust people around you. Instead of pushing them away, ask yourself what can you do for them, what can they do for you. Trust yourself and you will see things changing for the better.
Reply:It might not be a good time for you start in on a relationship right now. You have a lot to deal with and need time to heal first. I think this is going to further complicate things for you. Perhaps the best thing to do is just be friends with him.
Reply:I understand what your going through, because I suffer from depression and do the same thing that you do. So easy for someone to say %26quot;move on thats the past%26quot; but it%26#039;s not as easy as it sounds because it%26#039;s an emotional scar thats gonna stay with you. Just believe your a human as anyone else, you were hurt in the past and it%26#039;s gonna move along with you but you should work through the hard times. Tell your self %26quot;He loves me and I should accept it.%26quot; repeat it if you have to. Or if that%26#039;s not the case do special things with him and your so, have a great time while your at it. Take pictures and very funny videos.
Reply:See depression at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 2 and check out http://www.mental-health-today.com

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