Should I be on anti-depressants?

134>My parents recently unexpectedly split up and although my father and I are devastated my mother seems to show no remorse what so ever.


She only just admitted that she had been cheating on my father with another man.


this man has been convicted of attempted rape several times all girls under the age of 25.


My grandfather has also recently been diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas which is also a big shock to us.


My mum threatens to move her new partner in which scares the crap out of me.


I have to look after my little brother who has special needs and gets distressed when she goes out form 6:30 till past midnight.


My mum has also started hitting me and insulting me which she never used to do on top of this I have to hear my dad moaning about how depressed he feels and how he feels like killing himself.


on top of this I have just changed school which has been stressful and sat important exams.


The doctor offered to put me on anti depressants but I refused things will only get worse.
Reply:Hey sweetie, its okay hang in there, i wont doubt you. I ve been thru alot in my past. I remember the age 14 being especially tough on me though. I am proud of you for being strong enough to deal with your situation without medication. That is very strong and mature of you. I strongly suggest you talk to your school counseler, or even a therapist. It sounds like you need to be the strong one for your brother and your dad. Your dad should see his doc and get put on antidepressants, they wil help him and some therapy with it. My parents divorced when i was very young like you and left us four kids to deal with it and my mom constantly was putting us in the middle of everything and tryin to get us against our dad when she was the one who messed around on him in the first place and she too was out til sometimes 2 in the morning. Her new boyfriend was a complete jerk too and she made us listen to him. Anyway, i am 27 and just recently started on antidepressants cuz alot of my stuff from my childhood is hitting me now, and i hate the fact that i am not strong enough to be without them. But they help now. I wish the best of luck to you sweetie, please dont give up and stay strong! I admire you so much for being strong! Take care of you and your lil bro, keep you and him safe! If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. Take care hun!
Reply:I%26#039;m so sorry to hear all that. If your mom is abusing you call someone. You shouldn%26#039;t be living with someone so incapable of raising you. also a coucilor will help you.
Reply:Don%26#039;t ask anybody but your doctor. Trust the medical professional, thats why there here.
Reply:That%26#039;s truly a sad story.





If you refused the anti-depressants, it sounds like you don%26#039;t really need them. Plus too many doctors are so quick to medicate people when there likely isn%26#039;t enough of a reason for it.





I would definitely advise talking to a counselor if you need to work out any of these feelings.... and it sounds like you may need to stay away from your mom for a little while until she%26#039;s calmed down (especially if she%26#039;s hitting you... that is NEVER okay).





If you don%26#039;t feel that you need drugs to help your mood, then don%26#039;t take them. You are in charge of your own body. If you feel that you need something to help your mood, there are a lot of natural herbs that help that are safe and don%26#039;t have the side effects like drugs do... heck, some anti-depressants have been linked to increased suicidal tendencies. You need to look into things and make your own decisions in life, but it%26#039;s always okay to ask for help when you need it.
Reply:talk to a trusted teacher.


In UK ring childline.


You take care lovely get help now or first thing tomorrow.
Reply:you%26#039;re too young for anit-depressants. besides, anti-depressants usually just make u more depressed.
Reply:They are not cure all but may help. Srudies show some not good for teenagers but ur fr should know bout this. U have it rough i would take them for its worth
Reply:Honey,you need to talk to someone. Anti-depressants are not a cure all. You have NORMAL reasons to be depressed...anyone would with that much on their shoulders. I suggest you start by talking to a school counselor (it will all be in confidence)....or talk to a trusted stable adult like an Aunt....You need some counseling and THEN they may decide on anti depressants. Good Luck Dear!
Reply:It is hard when you have family problems so look after your health and support anyone you can in your family to help them get on in life.





There is no problem with going to a doctor for help because thats what they do make us better
Reply:First of all, i%26#039;m really sorry to hear you%26#039;re in such a tough situation. It%26#039;s hard being young and losing a parents. I just recently went through a divorce from a man who cheated on me so I can see how your father feels. But over time, he%26#039;ll heal and find that special person he%26#039;s meant to be with. It takes time. As for you, I think you should see about going with your father rather than living with your mother, especially if she%26#039;s thinking about moving the convict in. That%26#039;s very dangerous for you, especially since you are a teenage girl. Talk to you father and maybe he can help you come up with a plan for leaving (if it%26#039;s what your heart truly desires). There%26#039;s no excuse for a mother who loves her children to hurt them physically in any way and she should put her children before ANY man. Maybe you should consider the anti-depressants also. I took them when I was 14...there%26#039;s no harm in finding something that might take the edge off and help you be more at ease. Again, i%26#039;m sorry about your situation. Best of luck to you and i%26#039;ll be praying!
Reply:If I were you, I would go to a good Christian church.
Reply:It%26#039;s your doctors choice. Antideppersants simply take away emotions but when put with counciling they can help. No offoense but what your whole family needs is therapy and medication. And persoanlly I would get you and your brother out of your mothers care.


Right now it sucks but life will get better do what your doc says and refer your parents to him if you can.


Hope I could help.





Church is%26#039;nt always the answer espisally when you feel hopeless your faith in God would only be tested too much. Finally you need a specialist counseller if you choose to do so not a school one because they will never keep anything in confidence ever.
Reply:The fact that your mother verbally and physically abuses you is deplorable. My advice, 1. live with your father. 2. Contact the local authorities to deal with your abusive mother. 3. Contact your local Social Services office to get help with your sibiling. You have enough on you just going to school etc... to deal with 2 adults that can%26#039;t function. Get help and soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Reply:Wow! That%26#039;s a lot to deal with at age 14. First of all, medication is not the answer to your problems. That type of drug should be used only for people who have chemical problems or some kind of disorder. Anti-depressants are not a game at all. They should NOT be toyed with. It would take a person with a chemical problem or a disorder of some kind several months to find the right medication for them, plus there is a severe suicide risk for people under the age of 18. You do NOT want to be on suicide watch, believe me. I think you need to find a family counselor of some kind as soon as possible. Maybe it%26#039;s time to call a social worker as well. If you ever need some advice or someone to confide in, please feel free to email me through Y!A. I%26#039;m always willing to listen and to give advice. Take care, and good luck!
Reply:The question is not do you need anti-depressants but what can you do about your situation? You may need anti-depressants, that is between you and your doctor. However, the larger problem is the situation that you find yourself dealing with. You and your family need counseling. Go and talk to an adult that you trust and get your living situation resolved.
Reply:OK..there are two basic types of depression...1) Clinical...resulting from a physical imbalance in your brain and 2)situational..which is just what I think you have. I think if you ARE UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF A PHYSICIAN and you want to try an anti depressant, fine. HOWEVER...EVENTUALLY THE SITUATION HAS TO CHANGE OR YOU WON%26#039;T FEEL ANY BETTER. Get some counseling for yourself and your family and get this sorted out NOW, so you won%26#039;t have to rely on drugs for a long period of time. Good Luck
Reply:With your situation you should talk to your school councilor or social worker. If there is abuse going on call your local law enforcement. There is help available for you! Anti depressants is not going to solve your problems!
Reply:Don%26#039;t go on anti-depressants unless you are suicidal. Depression can be a normal, healthy response to a situation as stressful and messed up as this. Depression isn%26#039;t a bad thing, just when it goes on for too long or is bad enough that a person becomes non-functional or suicidal.


Try as best as you can to avoid situations that cause you too much distress or pain. If your mother beats you don%26#039;t see her. If you%26#039;re dad starts moaning about how depressed he is just get out of the house and go somewhere. This is not something that%26#039;s appropriate to be sharing with a 14 year old anyway. He should either get help or talk to friends or relatives about it, not children. Do whatever you can to stay out of that negative environment.
Reply:Your story is obviously true. If you need them badly enough, you will ask your doctor for them. Meditation would probably work just as well without the side-effects. If you don%26#039;t get to seriously thinking of suicide, you will probably be able to survive without them.
Reply:If you had talked to your doctor he would have called social services. Was your mother with you when you went to the doctor. He can not treat you unless there is a parent with you. He would have to report abuse. If all this really is happening you need to call a social worker and get some help for yourself. Your parents do not have the ability to protect you at this time. You kneed some support from an adult. Another idea would be to go to your school counselor and tell her what you wrote down here. Get some help!!!!! Your parents are messed up. Get some help if not for yourself for your little brother. It sounds as though you care about what happens to him. I know it%26#039;s hard and not fair but find an adult that will help you.
Reply:First of all, there is no way, shape, or form that you and your brother should be living with your mother. None. This sounds simililar to a situation my friend and her sisters were in when they were younger, their mother brought home a man who started sexually abusing them. GET OUT OF THERE. No matter how much you love your mom, she needs professional help that you can%26#039;t give. Bringing home a convicted offender shows that she is not in her right mind and not able to be a caretaker or parent to you or your brother. You are probably best off staying with another family member for a while, even if it is your dad. You should also advise your father to get help. I cannot stress enough how much of a dangerous situtaion this is. It may be difficult, but is best.





Also I think you might want to rethink those anti-depressants, the doctor wouldnt offer them to you without reason.





Stay strong!
Reply:Hell no, you should not be on antidepressants.
Reply:you might possibly have a breaking point coming unexpectedly. i would listen to your Doc. he/she have seen and dealt with some multiple cases (with hands on experience of course). and they might see the symptoms that they recognize that could or WILL be fatal to you.





Always listen to your Doc. on these matters especially. even for you.





and find an Adult that you can confide in (if its your dad other relative, teacher, school counselor, and Never ask too many of your peers, what knowledge and experience do they know that is guaranteed?). ADULTS preferably.





let me know if this helps you. just email me
Reply:I%26#039;m so sorry you are going through all this! I%26#039;m glad you turned down the meds. I would move in with your Dad if you can if your Mom has that awful guy move in! You are old enough to choose who you want to live with! Don%26#039;t worry about your little Brother, I know you love him, but he is your Mother%26#039;s responsibility, not yours. You have to take care of YOU! Just hang on honey, things WILL get better, it%26#039;s just going to take some time. I would have a talk with your Father and tell him how bad it affects you to hear him say the stuff he does and that he should find someone to talk to. Do you have an Aunt or someone you could call and talk to? It will help you to talk out your feelings. Try not to let your Grandfather being sick worry you, we all have to go sometime and it%26#039;s just his time soon. Death is a natural part of life, hard yes, but something you can accept. This is just a difficult time for you, and there will be many more times like this over the years. It will make you a strong woman who will be able to deal with anything that comes your way! Just take care of you the best you can and hang on, things always change!
Reply:First of all, I want to express my sympathy to you for the massive hardships you are going through in your life right now. Let me address all of the issues you write about before giving my response to your question.





Obviously, I don%26#039;t know about the relationship your parents have but I do think it%26#039;s horrible that your mother shows no sign of remorse for the pain she is putting you, your father and your brother through. The fact that she is involved with a man who has committed the heinous crimes you report sickens me. While it is true that you can%26#039;t stop love, the fact that your mother apparently knows her new %26quot;beau%26quot; is a rapist and is still going to try to move him into your home is deplorable. I-and I am a male, by the way-wouldn%26#039;t feel comfortable with someone like that in my home either. Try to see if you can talk to your mother about the situation and how it makes you feel-although based on what you write about your mother hitting and insulting you, I doubt it will have any affect, but please try for your and your brother%26#039;s sake.





I also want to express my deepest sympathies to you and your grandfather. I know what it%26#039;s like to have a loved one diagnosed with cancer and it covers the entire emotional spectrum. You will both be in my prayers.





It%26#039;s also quite unfair for you to have the responsibility to look after your brother. At your age, you should be enjoying all the things that teenagers enjoy; instead, you have to shoulder a burden that shouldn%26#039;t be on any minor%26#039;s shoulders. See if you can talk to your parents about easing that burden on you. You might feel guilty about it, but you do at some point have to live for yourself.





You might want to consider calling in the local child care and other authorities in your area to address the mental and physical abuse you are suffering. The best-or worst-case scenario is that you and your brother are removed from the home and put into foster care until you reach 18. That may not be something you want to do, but in my opinion, it may be preferable to what you%26#039;re going through now.





Your dad may need to seek professional help himself. Depression is not an illness to be belittled-I know because I suffer from clinical depression-and untreated, it can lead to suicide. Please talk to your father about seeing someone to try to help him through this difficult time.





Changing schools is always stressful. Leaving everything and everyone you know is difficult; adding on what you%26#039;re going through makes it nearly unbearable. I would suggest that, if you can, talk to your teachers and or counselors at your school to see if they can provide any assistance with the issues you%26#039;re facing.





Now, to FINALLY address your question. Should you take antidepressants? That is really a choice you and your doctors and other professionals will have to decide upon. I can tell you my experiences I started taking antidepressants before I was your age. I took them for a short period of time-ages 11 through 13-and then stopped for nearly two decades before going back on them in 2001. I feel that they do help me, but there are side effects like dry mouth, tiredness and headaches that I deal with. Again, since I do not know you personally and am not a mental health professional-although I%26#039;ve been a client for many years-I am not in a position to give you a yes-or-no answer. You, your doctors, and hopefully your family, will have to decide that for yourself. I wish you well with your family issues and I will pray for you and your grandfather every day.





Thank You





Sincerely,





Edward Washington


etyronewashington@yahoo.com





P.S. If you would like to, you can write to me at the above address and I will do what I can to help you.
Reply:why are you asking here then? your doctor offered and you said no. i highly doubt your story.