Should i ask him if he has prostate cancer?

78>my father went to doctor last month because he had problems with his water works, he got lots of tests and a biopsy of his prostate, when the results got back he told the family that it was just swollen due to hormones, since then he has had a bone scan which he said is a precaution, he is getting hormone injections into his abdomen to reduce the swelling(he says). anyway i was really suspicious so i looked in his medisine drawer and found his injections and looked them up on the net and they are anti cancer, he is obviously not wanting to tell us incase we are upset, i cry nearly every day thinking of it god knows how my mum would react, should i ask him outright and keep the answer from my mum or should i let him tell us in his own time?? he shouldnt have to go through this alone. he is 75 and i understand that he is elderly but you never imagine loosing them do you??
Reply:My thoughts are with you and your Dad. So many times I have heard about this problem. Men of any age find it difficult to talk about health problems - especially those "below the belt". A starting point for you may be to contact a support group. You can share your worries with others who have faced the same problem and can find out more about the problem and the treatment that your Dad is receiving. They are there to listen and support not only your Dad but you too. At any age - he is still your Dad and you will always love him and worry about him. Take care of yourself .... and your Dad too.





I understand all you are feeling - my Dad too had prostate cancer. I found lots of support from our local prostate cancer charity (listed below) and now have joined them and offer support to others who may need it
Reply:if you want ...go for it
Reply:i would wait until he's alone and go and have a quiet chat with him, tell him your really worried about him and he can talk to you if he needs to. Tell him if there was something wrong you would rather know about it. Hope everything is ok, good luck x
Reply:My father is 77 and his prostate cancer is controlled with injections of oestrogen - result: he's somewhat less hairy than he used to be, has put on lots of weight, and is rahter more emotional. But he isn't dead. And nor is your father.





I'd leave him to tell you in his own time - much as in the same way you wish he had done when he found a packet of cigarettes in your jacket pocket when you were 12...
Reply:i would talk to him and tell him that you are worried about him but he could live to be 90 or more my uncles had prostrate cancer and he is having injection and have been for a few years and is fine the doctor told him that it can be controlled but you have to except the fact that our parent will not live forever so take care of your dad and if you are relay worried go and talk to your G P and tell him what you know and he will tell you that your dad could live a long time with what he got as long as he takes medication i relay don't think you should say a word to your mum not yet try not to worry to much just take care of both your mum and dad as they are so precious
Reply:Just let him know you love him. give him lots of hugs and tell him how important he has been to you. A lot of guys that age were raised in the "big boys don't cry" era and may even be embarrassed to talk about the medical issue he is facing. He may even be in denial. Love and acceptance are the keys to getting him to open up when he is ready.


Good luck!
Reply:Why not ask him, its better knowing then not to know......I'm sure he may not mind.
Reply:Sure..... Prevention is better than cure!
Reply:Whilst there is no guarantee I know a number of frineds who have this problem and have had similar treatment which has been very successful.


You could find a 'right' time and talk gently to him, telling him that you realise there is a problem that is being treated and that you are with him all the way - you will find your own words.


Best wishes, James
Reply:I say you should ask him but be gentle about it. It probly wouldn't be smart for you to tell your mother you should suggest to him that he tell your mother.
Reply:Always reverse a situation, would you like to be placed in the position you are thinking of placing your father i.e. in a corner with your question?





He is your father and I'm sure that you love him, therefore respect the fact they at this particular moment he doesn't want to discuss it.


It's his privilege, and it's his body.





Personally,I'd treat him as I always have, as will your mum who is oblivious at present of a possible problem. Leave sleeping dogs lie.





I'm sure your father will thank you for it in the end.





Try not to worry, the older you get cancer the slower it grows, so your father has probably got many years in front of him, especially if he continues with the treatment.





I wish you and your father all the best,god bless.

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