357>im 16 and 1/2 and i%26#039;ve been contimplating for a while now about wanting to get pregnant. i lost my dad and little brother in a boat accident when I was almost 13, my mom is slowly dying for a rare breast cancer, my older brother is never around and I dont care much to keep him as a brother (for reasons better kept to myself). anyways I feel as if I have no family. I%26#039;m highly depressed and on anti-depressents. I feel as if i want a family of my own. I want someone to care for. I will be inheriting money when I turn 18, and I%26#039;m sure I can get it sooner expecially if I%26#039;m pregnant. Now the only downside to getting pregnant at this age is that I want to become a famous actress, and I can only imagine how the world would respond. I%26#039;ve been through alot in my life and I thought maybe getting pregnant would help me out. We have a program at school for parenting teens (like a day-care program). I also have a friend in the program that I talk to about all this. What do you think I sould do?
Reply:I don%26#039;t want to be mean but I don%26#039;t think you really have any idea how much work and stress a child will bring into your life. It will not help you out- you%26#039;ll be sleep deprived, no family around really to help you out with caring for the baby, plus hormones and stuff from being pregnant can make you even more depressed. Your friends might think the baby was cute for a little bit but your life will be completely different from most of your friends so after a while you%26#039;ll see less and less of them- they%26#039;ll be going out and you%26#039;ll be home with your baby trying to get it to stop crying %26amp; get to sleep.
Then after high school, you%26#039;ll have to deal with being a single mom, trying to go to college/acting classes/auditions when your kid is sick or the baby sitter doesn%26#039;t show up or its a daycare holiday or something. You don%26#039;t mention a boyfriend/dad for the baby, but overall not that many teen dads stick around long after the baby is born, and those that do tend not to be terribly helpful from the girls I know.
I think that your idea is pretty common but it isn%26#039;t very realistic. Some of my friends in high school ( I went to same kind of school as yours junior/senior years) had their babies for the same reasons you had and they all regretted doing it so young. Not that they would send their kids back or anything :), but we did talk about that stuff a lot in parenting classes, etc and I think everyone pretty much agreed they wished they%26#039;d waited until they were a lot older.
Also, I think it might actually worsen your depression. Not just the stress of raising a child, but also the hormones from pregnancy can make many women very depressed. I think that is worse if you are already depressed and most anti depressants are dangerous for the baby, they can cause serious health problems and birth defects. You would probably have to go off of them and risk worsening your depression or take the risk of causing problems for your baby. If you do try to get pregnant (which I don%26#039;t recommend) please at least talk to your doctor/psychologist about that and see about switching medications or dosages to lower the risks.
Reply:Dont get pg you need to live your life I know that you have been thourgh alot and i am so sorry about that but I think that you should wait. get you career together and then think about getting pg. I know that you feel alone but It will get better If you feel this way you should talk to someone a teacher a friend or see a doc Good luck
Reply:dont be stupid, graduate from school, get a good job, meet a nice guy and make your happy family that way being a mum is hard, being a teen mum is harder, at a young age you%26#039;ll want to rely heavily on family and friends for support, youre mum sounds like she needs your help and doesnt need anything more to worry about. stop being selfish. (I%26#039;m highly depressed and on anti-depressents.) anti depressents harm unborn children so you cant take them while pregnant. a baby wont care that your having a bad day, it will scream if it wants too!!
Reply:I%26#039;m a grandchild of a teen mom, a daughter of a teen mom, and a soon-to-be teen mom myself.
My grandmother had my mom at 15. I don%26#039;t know much about that side of the family though, so I can%26#039;t say much there.
My mom had me at 16. My mom thought she could handle having a baby around, but soon realized that she wouldn%26#039;t get to party anymore. Long story short, I barely saw my mom until she got pregnant with my little brother at 23. My mom and I are very VERY close now, but it%26#039;s been mostly because of my efforts to see her and her doing a lot of apologizing.
My father was 17 when I was born and I could care less about what happens with him and his family. I have absolutely no respect for my father.
And then there%26#039;s me. I%26#039;m a little older than all of the above, (I%26#039;m 18) and married. My baby wasn%26#039;t planned as I was on the nuvaring when he was conceived, but I%26#039;m not one to kill a baby over something it had no control over. These past 7 months have been the HARDEST I%26#039;ve ever endured. Not only has it been extremely tumultuous with my family, but also with my friends, husband, and my own self. I dropped out of high school at 16 because at the time I didn%26#039;t feel it was important. (Yes, I%26#039;m stupid.) I got back in at 17 and am still struggling to finish thanks to a little thing we like to refer to as %26quot;bed rest%26quot;. It%26#039;s really hard doing school work at home, let me tell you!
Babies are also extremely expensive. Think spending 30 dollars roughly three times a week just on formula. Diapers are no cheaper either. I think I read somewhere that the average baby costs 12,000 it%26#039;s first year of life.
I can%26#039;t tell you what to do, obviously, but having a baby completely changes your life. Think about everything you do now and cut it completely in half to just the things you have to do. (pee, eat, shower, sleep.)
Right now, you need to be with your mom. She needs you more than anything right now, and you need to be by her side. She doesn%26#039;t need to be worrying about her pregnant 16 year old daughter in her last league of life.
Good luck on whatever you decide, but trust me, it%26#039;s a lot more than just giggling and smelly diapers.
Reply:Having a baby is something you do NOT want/need to do. You need a good support system- friends, their parents, counselors %26amp; so on..
Getting pregnant only makes things worse- i have 3 kids and I%26#039;m only 21. My dad has been in prison since I was little and my mom died when I was 5. That means I was in foster care til I moved out on my own at 15. Having a child makes everything sooooo much harder.. The money you are inheriting is not going to last very long- regardless of how much it is.. You have to pay so many bills to have a place to live, you will have to go to college or something to support your child, insurance money for yourself and baby, %26amp; money for diapers and so on the list keeps going on and on. It makes things more stressful, chances are you will sink into more of a depression. A child isn%26#039;t someone thats always just going to be there and loving you and happy to see mommy- they cry, they scream, they want what they want when they want it even though they cant tell you what it is as babies..
Reply:Don%26#039;t do it!!! I got pregnant at 17, it%26#039;s very hard!
You are still so young, focus your time and energy on your dream instead of a baby.
Besides if you really think about it, what if the father doesn%26#039;t stay involved (believe me, it happens more than you know), or worse, he does but only to make your life hell! You don%26#039;t want to have a relationship with your brother imagine having to share a child with a man who you can%26#039;t stand! Would your mother want this for you, make her proud, don%26#039;t make a mistake!
I don%26#039;t regret any of my 3 kids but I wish I would have waited! You have the opportunity to live your life before being tied down with responsibilities. Don%26#039;t pass that by! Go out with your friends, have fun. A baby won%26#039;t take away the hurt from the people you%26#039;ve lost in your life and can%26#039;t change what%26#039;s happening now, you%26#039;ll just have more to deal with. Try talking to a counselor!
Good luck in whatever you decide
Reply:I know you only wanted answers from teen moms, but I had to address that very request....... teen moms don%26#039;t know squat about motherhood, so right off the hop, you%26#039;re not going to get any good advice. They%26#039;ll tell you all about the emotional side of it... how awesome, or how horrible it is....... the fact is, they will tell you from they%26#039;re over-emotional kid brain, still surging with hormones but here%26#039;s the big eye- opener.......... IT%26#039;S NOT ABOUT YOU!!! It%26#039;s about that child who deserves to be raised by a MATURE, stable, financially secure, emotionally secure woman. Don%26#039;t plan a teen pregnancy. It%26#039;s a childish notion, and extremely selfish. Don%26#039;t birth a child because you%26#039;re lonely......... NeWS flash... They don%26#039;t offer any company. They%26#039;re demanding and a ton of work. Babies are a blessing, in the proper timing. Just by your Short writing i KNOW you%26#039;re no where near ready to be a mom. Your in it for all the wrong reasons. My heart goes out to you, losing your family members.... but you%26#039;ll also lose yourself if you have a baby this young. Go live a good, safe teenage life.
Reply:Okay, while I%26#039;m not a teen anymore, I was 18 when I became pregnant and 19 when my first baby was born. While this will get you the love that you are craving it will not always be easy. It is tough to be up all night, and it%26#039;s tough to carry a baby around for nine months. When you do have the baby it%26#039;s yours forever. It%26#039;s great that you%26#039;re looking into the parenting program. We had a daycare at my high school and we used it for a child development lab. It is great that you would want to continue school. My only worry is about who you would choose to be the father and what would happen from that.
Reply:I know right now you feel like having a baby will solve your problems but it won%26#039;t. Having a child is extremely stressful especially in high school not to mention the judge mental people out there will only make your life harder. imagine waking up at all hours of the night and then going to school or work wait in till you graduate and go to college or start a career before deciding this. Babys are not as fun as everyone thinks.
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